Getting married is a big step…that’s stating the obvious right? It is the process of taking two and turning them into one, so with that being said you and your partner definitely need to be one with your thoughts and plans for the future! Today we are bringing you seven topics that you for sure need to be sure you have discussed with your fiancé before you walk down the isle!
Topic 1: How many children do you want if any?
One may not want kids because he has a lot of nieces and nephews already, didn’t like growing up with his siblings, or simply is not a fan of children. While others may not have had a chance to have siblings so they for sure want a big family of their own. This is something that needs to be discussed before hand in case a compromise is necessary.
Topic 2: Where do you want to live?
Now, if you and your fiancé are from the same hometown this will be much easier for at least the early years of your marriage. If you two are from two different places then you might have to sit down and weigh your options and decide on the place that will work best. You may have to move where your fiancé is if he or she has a solid job already or if there is some other reason that he would need to stay put. After selecting where you want to live you can start figuring out what type of home you want. Do you want to start out in a condo for a while, do you want to purchase a new house right away, etc.
Topic 3: Will you raise your family under one specific religion?
If you were raised up in a certain religion, do you want your kids raised in the same? What about if you two have different religions, which one will your kids practice? If you don’t have a particular religion at all will you allow your kids that same freedom to choose?
Topic 4: Family Time
Some people spend a lot more time with their families than others do. Will that change when you get married? How will you split up the holidays if each family lives somewhere different? Will the grandparents get equal time with the grandkids? Will they be invited on family vacations? There are so many questions you can ask with this topic. Family is such an important topic and this is something that you should definitely be on the same page with before getting married.
Topic 5: Career Plans
A career can be something that truly breaks a family. To avoid this talk with your fiancé about how important his career is to him. Find out what his dream career is and what his plans are to get there. Do you anticipate it interfering with your family life? Would that put a hold on building a family? Find out of you both can be happy where you are in life in terms of your career before you start building a family and are forced to stay stable for a while.
Topic 6: What will you do with your bank accounts?
Before getting married, couples usually come in with separate bank accounts, so will you keep yours that way or merge them together? This is very important and has a lot of elements tied to it like the shared bills, individual bills and loans/debt that one has to pay off. Come up with a plan that you both agree on and one that seems fair to the both of you. Also be sure to have some type of emergency fund!
Topic 7: House Shopping Requirements
When it comes to the items for your first place together after marriage, you definitely need to be on the same page with what you want. A lot of couples have two different visions for what they want their home to look like so you definitely need to prepare some sort of agreement when shopping. Do you like soft or hard mattresses? Will you want a television in your room or not? Rectangle or circle dining room set? Save yourself the possible arguments in the store and talk about this before hand!
The topics above are not the only topics that you need to talk about but they are for sure some of the important ones! In order to have a successful marriage you and your partner need to be a team, and in order to be a team you need to have the same goals. Discussing all the key life topics before getting married will help you both see where you stand and give you time to adjust if needed!
Atterberry, W. (2014, September 30). 15 Things Every Couple MUST Discuss Before Getting Married. Huffington
Post. Retrieved April 29, 2016, from http://www.huffingtonpost.com/wendy-atterberry/15-things-every-couple-mu_b_5638629.html
Amber Bentley
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Devoted to Your Event, LLC